What advice do you have for a 24 year old that's confused and conflicted about everything?
Published on 24 October 2014 12:00 AM
I recently had to give some advice to my 13 year old cousin, and so this is something I've been thinking about. Not that 24 year olds and 13 years olds are the same.
I was 24 almost 10 years ago, so I've had some time to think about what I'd like to tell 24 year old Jenn. Here goes:
- Spend the time to figure out what you love, and then do it. Everything else will fall into place in exactly the time that it was always supposed to. I think if you're at least doing what you love, then you're on the right track. Unless what you love is hard drugs or bath salts. Don't do that.
- Talk to the person you least want to about the thing that's hard. That is always the best person to talk to about that stuff! If that seems vague, think of the last conflict you were in, and how much faster it could have been resolved if you went right to the person. For me, when I'm struggling, I tend to avoid people who I know will give me good advice because I'm embarrassed by the struggle. That's dumb. Go to the person that your insides scream no at. But be gentle, be humble.
- Find people you want to be like and befriend them. In my twenties I hung out with all sorts of people, but mostly immature-still-children people who were going nowhere fast. The right kind of friends accept you as you are and genuinely care for the direction your life is headed, find those people.
- Every day is a chance to start over. I was quite a miserable creature in my twenties, dreading growing older and the future. But now I recognize each day as a chance to be awake and upright and healthy(ish) and interact with these amazing people I get to call friends or teammates or family or daughter, in what is most likely the best time in civilization to ever have been alive. How crazy is that? And all I had to do to get here was be born. EVEN CRAZIER. I don't always make the most of my days in this way (especially recently) but the ones that I do tend to overshadow the bad and are worth more to me than anything else in this life.
- No knows what they're doing, or even what's going to happen next. Some are just better than others at faking it. I take comfort in this for some reason.
- There is absolutely no one else like you, who can bring what you bring to this life. How rare and special beings we are, from our rich inner lives that we can either share with others or keep to ourselves, to the varied ways we've found to express ourselves and interact with others. I truly believe that everyone has a specific quality about them that no one else has, and hopefully it's that quality that leaves an imprint on others. You are an original and I think that deserves to be embraced and celebrated.
Hopefully that won't confuse you further, because that was a lot just now.